Falling falling snow .

Cover up our memories together , and hope i'll never see you again .

Lets just say , today has been a really depressing day .

First thing in the morning , my money was gone . I had 4dollars left for school , well not so bad until i realised i was going to be late .

Took the 7 o'clock train , heng reach in time .

Didnt finish my homework . my maths C2A1 is STILL wiht me , due for two days already .

And maths , UGH MATHS . I DONT UNDERSTAND THE BLOODY ALGEBRAIC FORMULAE .

Fine , who cares . My class is falling apart . My class is falling apart .

And its because im the chairman . This sounds like self pity , but really . I think i fucked my class up .

I got us into trouble , being noisy and everything - because im incapable and useless .

Yes useless . I need a friggin hug right now . But i know no one will hug me - its ' lesbian ' or whatever . I feel like crying . But i wont . I cant . Now and then a stray tear comes down , but no not too many . I can control my emotions .

Then CCA . It started out awesome , with both ensembles gathering together .

But well it turned out to be BAD NEWS . HORRENDOUS .

Ensemble 2 wasnt going to perform . After training so hard for two scenes already , they arent going to perform .

Im not going to blame Natalie for this , cause yadayada she has experience and everything .

BUT ITS LIKE BREAKING US ALL UP . And Jiawei , Hengwei and Zu er got transferred out . JUST CAUSE THEY ARE SEC TWOS AND THEY HAVE MORE ' chances ' IN THE FUTURE .

What bullshit is this Natalie ? We only get to perform say twice a year . You miss this chance you hardly get another , unless you're in story challenge . Of which , if unfortunately we are not picked for that we hardly get any chances to perform , really .

Like Justin said ' ohana means family , and family means no one gets left out . EDS is our family . ' So why . in . the . world . are . we . not . together ?

I dont get it , i really dont . But well one thing is this . another is that sec twos hardly gets any roles in the main cast . Other than Haolin . At first i was the geographer . Well at first . Cause we were' trying out ' roles . But terrance camelate . He entered the room .
Dayum . He got the role .

Ohokay . That totally crushed my pride . Not really yet , since we were still ' trying out roles ' .

But today ? Today Terrance didnt come . I didnt even get mentioned to replace him .

HE BLOODY GOT REPLACED .

By Renwei - and no , im not saying i dislike him or anything . But it just feels like a battlefield . We're fighting for our roles . We dont get added in anymore .
Its either i crush you and win , or get crushed and lose .

Its like a survivor race . . .

I hate this . really .

I DONT KNOW WHAT TO SAY ANYMORE . I really feel like crying . But that seems to AA to tell you this . But i need to tell SOMEONE about this right ? It feels so URGH . i cant take this anymore .

That hate . My class falling apart . EDS being split .

Are leap years always like that ?

Yes they do . Everyone deserve a place to be at . a place to fit in .

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i .. really dont know what to say for today . A total disaster ? A beautiful disaster . No its not even beautiful . It grips my heart and leaves me crying . . .

okay bye .